8 posts tagged “santa claus”
For anyone who wasn't here this time last year, here are some Christmas posts you might enjoy:
The 25 Pictures Of XmasBeing an online Santa is a lot like being a mall Santa - some people ask for things, some people give you a hard time, but most people just want to rip your beard off.
Christmas pictures from my past and present, the majority set in Maine. I posted one a day in December through the 25th.
Unfortunately I don't have the time to do another picture series this year, unless you want to see my new puppy eating 25 Christmas decorations. I will get a few pictures up though (for example).
Do stay tuned for some new special Christmas posts/collections. There will be music! There will be muppets! There will be...wait, I guess you don't need anything else.
This is the twenty-fifth picture in the 25 Pictures of Xmas series:
Santa arrives via lobster boat in Kennbunkport, Maine. I hope his spirit made it to your corner of the world as well :)
Cue exit music:
This is the twenty-fourth picture in the 25 Pictures of Xmas series:
This is the twenty-third picture in the 25 Pictures of Xmas series:
This is the twenty-second picture in the 25 Pictures of Xmas series:
This is the twentieth picture in the 25 Pictures of Xmas series:
It was fun/weird walking through the mall with the dog. I just wanted to set her free and watch her run and skid around the stone floor.
Why wouldn't Santa have instant messaging? That was my thought two Decembers ago as I wrote some holiday copy for a website. The website belonged to a company that made a popular IM-enabled mobile phone. I made up an IM screen name for Santa and tossed it in as an aside. I registered the screen name - I didn't expect many people would actually care to chat with a shill Santa from a company website, but I didn't want someone else grabbing the screen name and being evil Santa.
Soon after the page was published, I logged into AIM as Santa from my phone. Suddenly I had ten chat requests. Apparantly I'd been added to a few buddly lists. Ten was the limit for simultaneous conversations on the phone, and I constantly had to ditch old conversations to keep up with the influx of new ones.
Are you a bot?
Proving I was not a bot was a typical start to many conversations:
miRyDeK09: hi
onlineSanta: Hello!
miRyDeK09: menu
onlineSanta: Menu? This isn't a bistro
miRyDeK09: what all can you do?
onlineSanta: You know, make toys, eat cookies, fly a sleigh...
miRyDeK09: do you know any games?
onlineSanta: Reindeer games?
miRyDeK09: yes
onlineSanta: Sure
miRyDeK09: main
onlineSanta: Got to keep the fleet in shape!
miRyDeK09: what am i getting for chirstmas?
onlineSanta: Main what?
onlineSanta: I don't like to spoil the surprise :)
miRyDeK09: what is your main menu
onlineSanta: I told you this isn't a bistro. Are you hungry or
something?
miRyDeK09: no sorry :-(
onlineSanta: No problem
Some people dealt with this better than others:
NYMon7: sup what r u?
onlineSanta: Just a busy guy this time of year!
NYMon7: r u a bot
onlineSanta: Nope!
NYMon7: who r u really??
onlineSanta: Who is anyone really?
NYMon7: i dont know
NYMon7: abc
NYMon7: defg
NYMon7: hij
NYMon7: klmnop
onlineSanta: abc? What is this the jackson 5?
NYMon7: qrs
NYMon7: tuv
NYMon7: wx
NYMon7: lol
onlineSanta: No, wx, yz. You almost had it
NYMon7: r u serious
onlineSanta: Well, sometimes I am serious, other times jolly
NYMon7: wtf
onlineSanta: Such language! :)
NYMon7: biotch
"I feel u santa"
Other people wasted no time probing for bots and got right to the heart of the matter:
quiqqmosbro: Hi santa
quiqqmosbro: I want a playstation 2 for christmas
quiqqmosbro: and the spiderman 2 game
onlineSanta: So noted!
quiqqmosbro: Cool
Many just wanted to help out in the true spirit of Christmas:
FondBn: Hi santa
FondBn: I have been a super good boy
onlineSanta: Glad to hear it!
FondBn: Do you have any gifts for me?
onlineSanta: I don't like to spoil the surprise
FondBn: You are the MAN Santa.
onlineSanta: Thanks!
FondBn: Hey I don't realy need anything please send my gifts to someone who needs them.
onlineSanta: Very generous; will do!
Chikbow: Sup santa
onlineSanta: Hello! Keeping busy!
Chikbow: Ma frnd jus told about u
onlineSanta: Ok!
Chikbow: So how u doin this evening
onlineSanta: Great! Getting the sleigh ready
Chikbow: Dats wusap
onlineSanta: Yep!
Chikbow: Let me know if u need help gettin it ready
Chikbow: I can help
onlineSanta: Thanks, will do!
Chikbow: Santa could use sum help too
Chikbow: Will dnt he?
onlineSanta: We've got it covered for now!
Chikbow: I feel u santa
While others were content to treat Santa as any other online buddy:
LinkinPark51792: Hi
onlineSanta: Hello!
LinkinPark51792: What's up
onlineSanta: Keeping busy :)
LinkinPark51792: Your really a person aren't u
onlineSanta: Yes
LinkinPark51792: Lol
LinkinPark51792: Do u got a pic
But who are you really? No, REALLY?!
Most people wanted to just pull the beard off and see who Santa was really:
Mzz Angie: hi santa
Mzz Angie: ???
Mzz Angie: like wtf
onlineSanta: Hello!
Mzz Angie: hello
Mzz Angie: hi
Mzz Angie: are u santa
onlineSanta: Who else would I be?
Mzz Angie: idk
Mzz Angie: hi
onlineSanta: Hello :)
Mzz Angie: are u a bot
onlineSanta: Nope
Mzz Angie: whoops
Mzz Angie: so ur like a person?
onlineSanta: Yes
Mzz Angie: thats so cool
Mzz Angie: lol
onlineSanta: Thanks!
onlineSanta: Been nice?
Mzz Angie: yup
Mzz Angie: kinda
onlineSanta: Good :)
Mzz Angie: yup
Mzz Angie: im a good person
Mzz Angie: lol
onlineSanta: Glad to hear it :)
Mzz Angie: yup
onlineSanta: Ready for Christmas?
Mzz Angie: yup
Mzz Angie: am i gonna get the pink and black puma speedcats ive
been wanting?
onlineSanta: I don't like to spoil the surprise :)
Mzz Angie: oh that sucks
onlineSanta: Nah!
Mzz Angie: thats ok if i dont get it
Mzz Angie: so is ur real name santa?
Mzz Angie: thats a real retarted question
onlineSanta: I go by many names ;) Santa, Kris Kringle, Father Noel
Mzz Angie: aahhh
Mzz Angie: noel is french for christmas
Mzz Angie: i no that cuz i take french
Mzz Angie: but like seriously what is ur real name
onlineSanta: Call me Nicholas if you like :)
Mzz Angie: ok
Mzz Angie: ill call u NICHOLAS
onlineSanta: sure :)
Mzz Angie: :)
Mzz Angie: can u guess my name?
onlineSanta: Angie? :) Angel? Angela?
Mzz Angie: angie
Mzz Angie: whats ur name
onlineSanta: Nicholas :)
Mzz Angie: thats not ur REAL name
onlineSanta: How do you know? Could be
Mzz Angie: it would be a HUGE coincidence
Mzz Angie: [AWAY] caffeine.. brb
Mzz Angie: hi
Mzz Angie: santa
onlineSanta: Hi angie :)
Mzz Angie: :)
Mzz Angie: sorry i had go make myself a latte
Mzz Angie: if u come over on xmas eve i will make u some
Mzz Angie: bye santa
Mzz Angie: dont forget to give me the speedcats!
Others were more relentless in their interrogation, but Santa would not be swayed:
goFunky: Hello
onlineSanta: Hello!
goFunky: I got the screen name off the net but what do u do?
onlineSanta: You know, make a list, check it twice
goFunky: A list of what?
onlineSanta: Who has been naughty,nice,etc
goFunky: So is this your job? I'm just curious
onlineSanta: Well talking is just a part. Mostly I deliver things :)
goFunky: How old are u?
onlineSanta: Pretty old. I lost track some time ago
goFunky: Haha
goFunky: Ok
goFunky: So u are pretty old in reality or ur just saying that because
you're supposed to because ur 'santa'?
onlineSanta: Reality is such a slippery concept
goFunky: U know what I mean
onlineSanta: Probably safe to say I am older than you in any reality
goFunky: How old do u think I am?
onlineSanta: Less than 30? :)
goFunky: Yeah
goFunky: So do u know if I've been naughty or nice?
onlineSanta: I'd have to check the central computer and get back to you :)
goFunky: Hahaha ok
onlineSanta: We outsource that to India now
goFunky: Wow. Why there?
onlineSanta: Good rates
goFunky: Do u live in india?
onlineSanta: No, I am up north :)
goFunky: Haha well I can understand that.
goFunky: Oh right,
goFunky: The north pole
goFunky: Well u do pretty well in sticking to your 'part'
goFunky: Good job
onlineSanta: Lots of practice :)
goFunky: I'll bet
goFunky: U stay in character
goFunky: That must be hard
goFunky: Do a lot of people I M u?
onlineSanta: A fair amount
goFunky: Keep u busy?
onlineSanta: For sure
goFunky: Are u allowed to be out of character?
onlineSanta: Can't really change who I am :)
goFunky: Right
goFunky: U are good
goFunky: Really though, I'm not gonna tell anyone u got out of character...I'm curious, how old are you when you're not playing santa?
onlineSanta: The same age I am now :)
goFunky: 23?
onlineSanta: Hmm nope
goFunky: Younger than 30?
goFunky: Come on
goFunky: U can tell me
onlineSanta: What difference does it make? :)
goFunky: I'd like to know, just want to know who I'm talking to.
goFunky: What college did you go to?
onlineSanta: College is not a pre-requisite for this job :)
goFunky: So what did u do instead of college? Do u live in LA?
onlineSanta: Nope, not in LA
onlineSanta: Too warm there
goFunky: Colorado?
goFunky: Haha
goFunky: Try living in houston...
goFunky: Talk about warm
onlineSanta: Colorado is still too warm
goFunky: I don't live there anymore though
goFunky: Awww come on man
goFunky: Colorado is freezing
onlineSanta: It is all relative :)
goFunky: So you really can't tell me who you are, eh?
goFunky: Ok
goFunky: What do u deliver?
onlineSanta: Toys and such :)
goFunky: So if I ask you for something, will I get it if I've been nice?
goFunky: It's not a trick question
goFunky: I really need a new car
goFunky: So how's mrs claus?
onlineSanta: Doing well
goFunky: Good good
goFunky: Well thanks for keeping me entertained. U are good at your job, I couldn't stay in character like you even though u won't admit you ARE playing a character. Nice talking to you and have a merry christmas or whatever you celebrate.
onlineSanta: Thanks, have a good holiday
goFunky: U 2
Finally, Santa was able to actually help someone out:
DioNcruz: So I don't know what to get my little brother for X-mas
DioNcruz: Any suggestions? Please don't say a phone
onlineSanta: How old is he?
DioNcruz: 20
onlineSanta: Any hobbies/interests?
DioNcruz: Politics
onlineSanta: Dem or repub?
DioNcruz: Dem more of a socialist though but what the hey this is
america. Capitalism go figure.
onlineSanta: You could try a premium subscription to salon.com good articles there, plus instant delivery
DioNcruz: Hmm good idea:-)
DioNcruz: Thanks
onlineSanta: Quite welcome!
DioNcruz: Are you on a rotating shift with other "santas"?
onlineSanta: Just me and the elves. And the reindeer, but they are slow typists
DioNcruz: LOL!:-D
After a lot of thumb-typing, online Santa went into retirement.
The screen names of Santa, his conversation partners and other identifying details in the transcripts above have been altered. goFunky did get her car.
Tune in for the next story in this series, I Was An Online Jennifer Aniston
This is the sixth picture in the 25 Pictures of Xmas series:
